What is a fair way to split costs when my girlfriend moves in? (I own the apartment) (lemm.ee)

submitted 3 days ago by AnonomousWolf@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My girlfriend and I are planning to move in together in ~3 months.

I own a small apartment in Amsterdam, my mortgage, heating, water and electricity is about 2000 Euro a month, and I earn 30% more than she does.

Some context: Amsterdam is damn expensive and in an housing crisis, since living here she's been paying about 1000/m to rent a room. Both of us earn quite well and money isn't tight

What is a fair way to split costs? I've heard everything from she should live here for free because I was paying for everything anyway to we should split everything 50/50, and I'm not sure what is fair.

I don't think 50/50 is fair, because the way I see it, I'm going to get back a fair amount of the money I pay to my mortgage when I sell the apartment.

So what is fair? My gut feeling is something like we split the heating, electricity, groceries etc. 50/50. And she pays say 500 Euro a month for living here (less than half what she's used to paying in rent)

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[-] SwearingRobin@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

This varies by person, and he best person to talk about this is your girlfriend.

With that said, I'd do half what she paid in rent for mortgage (of half the mortgage payment, whichever is smaller), and all other expenses split down the middle. She would pay rent if she lived elsewhere, the way I see it, her contributing to the mortgage is a deeply discounted rent.

This might not work for you, you need to talk. Me and my now husband when we first started setup a joint account, and each sent half of an agreed amount there every month, or as needed. We didn't make similar incomes, it fluctuated back and forth through the years for both of us. Some people would think it was unfair for us to pay the same. It worked for us, and both of us were happy with the arranjement, it might not be the best option for you.

this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2025

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