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Raccoon invasion of Germany
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this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2025
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YUROP
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Yesssss. Invade us harder! Racoons for everyone! I love those cute Lil trashpandas 😍
Procyon lotor are only native to North America and are listed as an invasive species in the EU.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raccoon#Distribution_in_Germany
Everybody loves raccoons, the animal embodiment of one’s indomitable, anarchic trash-goblin spirit!
(5 seconds later) We regret to inform you that the presence of raccoons in Europe is a legacy of Hitler
That might not be as far from the truth as you might think. In 1945, a few individuals escaped a pelt farm (fuck humans) near Berlin due to an unknown cause and some hypothesize a bomb dropped during an air raid could have destroyed an enclosure.
IIRC, encouraging raccoon farming was a specific NSDAP policy, and may have started in the Nazi era.
Don't care about the exact species. The ones i know from here (We drive 2h to the only place where i ever learned they exist) are fucking cute and i adore them. I also don't care what the EU labels them, we are the worst invasive species of them all and noone cares :-)
Speaking as an American, you won't be saying that once they invade your attic. Trust me, you do not want this.
There's a joke there about German attics, but I'm not a good enough comedian to make that without it being horribly offensive... So I won't.
Well, the map shows them working their way towards Poland . . .
Pretty sure I don't know about that
Is it in the same kind as with Austrian cellars?
Couldn't be mad at them for trying, can't lie here :)
They are cute, but they're just bloodthisty toddler-sized hobos. They prey on small dogs and cats or fight them for territory, they eat chickens, they destroy fucking everything, and they can carry and spread rabies. They will rip up plants, tear siding off your house, pull up paving stones, and even break windows. Just imagine a hostile drifter on your property trying to fuck it up as hard as possible out of spite for you, and that's about right.
Man when my first kid was little those fuckers would get into our trash all the time. You know how much fun it is cleaning ripped-up dirty diapers off your front yard?
Anyway I whipped up some pepper spray and poured it all over the can. They never came back. Worked a lot better than shooting them with bb guns.
Yuk, i would find the diapers disgusting even before they're in the trash :-) They couldn't reach our trash, so that would not be a problem. Also between our current situation of population (they live here? at all? WOW!) and yours are many decades. So i might enjoy the way towards your situation :)
They're fun as long as they're not out to get you. I love the little anarchists but please stay out of my shit thanks ;D
Generally, you won't encounter them much unless you're near available food at night. If they do start showing up, film em, they're entertaining.
I guess it would take a looong time before they'd ever show up here at my doorstep. I live in a city, not rural. But i fucking would film them, i have surveillance cameras all around anyway :)
And yeah i probably wouldn't love them fucking my trash up, but i also couldn't be mad at them. It's our fault they're here, i can't judge or hate them for that.
They couldn't enter here, would've got to climb some pretty high walls first :) But i get your point. So it's like living in a very bad neighborhood just that the invaders and house-fuckers are fucking cute. Yet we drive 2h regularly to pet them in a tiny spot where they live. So it's nowhere near your situation. Up to discovering that spot we didn't even think they'd live here at all.
We don't put 'siding' on our houses so that'll be fine, not looking forward to rabies tho :(
We do have foxes with rabies already, and wild boars plowing up lawns and flower beds