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submitted 2 months ago by cm0002@lemmy.world to c/funny@sh.itjust.works
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[-] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 236 points 2 months ago

And the wealthy manage to come out on top every single time.

[-] BestBouclettes@jlai.lu 118 points 2 months ago

When you're the ones manufacturing the crisis, it's easier to prepare and profit from it

[-] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 16 points 2 months ago

When they should really come out 6 feet under.

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 11 points 2 months ago

Buy blue chip stocks during recessions and sell after recovery

[-] Nindelofocho@lemmy.world 54 points 2 months ago

Kinda hard to buy when you dont have any fuckin money

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 44 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

If you didn't buy so many pumpkin spice lattes and avocado toasts you would have been rich by now

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 months ago

Instructions unclear, invested life savings in pumpkin spice latte and avocado toast stocks

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 10 points 2 months ago

You god dang gen z's are going to get my CFA designation revoked

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

I'm actually an elder millennial, but I guess I can hold off on any further investment until you get your Classified Fowl Arbitration cert reinstated 🤷

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

I see you're also an expert in bird law

[-] baldingpudenda@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

I renounced my Chick-fil-A designation after I got disciplined for playing the south park episode

[-] thefartographer@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago

Got it. I'm gonna have a nice hot avocado late and some cinnamon sticks on pumpkin toast

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

I'm starting to notice a problem...

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago
[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

I've never joked in my life

[-] Kolanaki@pawb.social 25 points 2 months ago

Instructions unclear, invested life savings in a company that produces blue corn tortilla chips.

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

Well tostitos is owned by pepsico which is a matured company of 126 years so I would consider that a blue chip blue corn chip stock

[-] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

I invested early but ate them after a month because I was afraid they'd get stale.

[-] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I accidentally ended up with a semi trailer full of blue corn tortilla chips?

[-] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago

Brother I'm still recovering from the last time I took the internet's advice on stocks.

Unrelated, but fuck Ryan Cohen.

[-] ReanuKeeves@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

I think this thread has been very clear about what stocks to buy and it's your fault if you don't get it (when you figure it out, let me know too)

this post was submitted on 03 Apr 2025
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