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this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2025
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Oh man. It's scary how normal this is treated. I remember having friends with "older boyfriends" and I always felt really weirded out by it. Yet when you're a kid (or teen, in this case) and your friends act like it's normal to want adult boyfriends, you're put in a really awkward position. I wasn't able to fully articulate or even comprehend everything fucked up about it at the time, but as an adult looking back, holy shit. There's an entire hidden social ecosystem where being groomed is not only considered normal, but can be seen as enviable by peers.
Looking back the whole situation, it’s terrifying. I don’t think my parents ever figured that I was in that kind of situation with my friend. We were super lucky that nothing bad ever happened because it would’ve been very easy for us to be taken advantage of and we had no idea.
These guys had to be at least 21 I don’t know how much rent cost there at the time or how much it was to share a house with two or three of your friends, but they certainly weren’t 18-year-old Freshmen and we had to be 17 at best. This particular friend was obsessed with any kind of male attention so for me it was kind of like an eye roll whatever at that time but looking back is like oh my God. Like you said it’s terrifying how normalized it is as teenage girls to get some kind of attention from older men.