Listen, the brisket doesn't need the sauce, because unless you're a weenie you get the moist... but ribs should be fucking dipped in that divine nectar.

The line about the library card is what drives me up the wall. It's ridiculous how tough it is to get in some places. You want a freaking utility bill?!? I'm renting a room, for fuck's sake. That isn't just a texas problem though, because I know florida was just as stupidly difficult.