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this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2025
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Welcome to The Jungle, we play dirty games.
Food safety costs a lot, so fuck the FDA
-Food companies, basically.
Fun fact:
The precursor to the FDA was created during Theodore Roosevelt's administration. After the book was published, Roosevelt sent federal investigators to the Chicago slaughterhouses to validate the conditions detailed in the story.
The investigators reported that the conditions were worse than described in the book. And that was after the slaughterhouse owners got wind that the feds were coming and had everything cleaned from top to bottom.
Hard to imagine what "worse" looks like because the conditions detailed in the book are truly appalling.
Additional fun fact, The Jungle was meant to highlight the poor working conditions in slaughter houses, but the outrage was related entirely to the poor consideration for the meat that the public was eating.
Not sure if you intended this, but you can absolutely get what you wrote to work with the timing (and same rhyme sounds/pattern, basically) of the first few lyrics of Guns N Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle', with minor modifications.
Welcome to the Jungle,
where we play dirty games.
Food safety sure costs a lot,
so fuck the FDA.
We are the people who hate fines,
Whatever they may be.
If you got no money, honey,
We got your disease.
etc.
(Wonderful that some of the lyrics don't have to change at all, nor really the chorus, yay internal bleeding.)
That was my intention. Good on ya!
Sha na na na na na Shingles, eeeeek!
It gives "Watch it bring it to your n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees" an entirety different context! 🤮
I mean... the original song's use of that phrase arguably references a woman basically being forced to give bjs to her dealer in order to get drugs she's now addicted to...
All of this is terrible!
Sad thing, that original song would still apply - but now for safe baby food, carrots, or maybe a sack of flour. A lot of people are going to do things that they never expected to do.
We are going to live an cursed existence. 💩
I read the original to the tune without thinking about it!
Love the cover:
[Incidentally and entirely off-topic, it reminds me of the book(s) I'm reading right now: Josiah Bancroft's Tower of Babel tetralogy - urban steampunk jungle, vertically]
The book cover has the same vibe as the album cover for Pink Floyd's "Animals", which also happens to be a scathing critique of capitalism.
I loved that series, enjoy!
if Upton Sinclair was alive today he would flip his lid
such a good read. should be required by all.
Good ole Bubbly creek https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubbly_Creek