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My personal hero
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2025
520 points (96.8% liked)
Funny
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ikea already is a labyrint with no exit, as far as I'm concerned.
Lost some good friends in there, never seen them again.
Not the worst place to be stuck in. You got ample lounging and sleeping quarters. Food. Social interaction.
gotta find the food first...
All paths lead to the food court. Otherwise, meat in a different form is all around you. A lone patron takes a wrong turn in the curtains section and its lights out.
Now I wish there was a Swedish urban myth about a person who got lost in an IKEA and became a savage and still haunts it to this very day.
The ball pit in the children's area is a great place to get, uh, let's call it veal.
Haha sicko. I’ve never actually seen the kids area. Didn’t know there was a ball pit.
I'm not sure it's in all of them. The one by me has an area where you can dump your kid so you can shop unimpeded. I'm only assuming they have a ball pit.
Yeah I’ve seen them near me just haven’t been inside.
You didn't go deep enough.
There are more surprises... if you dare stray from the path.
I don’t dare
I'll just leave this here.
Thanks, that was a fun one. Poor dude though.
They were eating meatballs and forgot to mention it, some say they're still there to this day.
Ikea isn't a labyrinth. It is a long and winding single path with no branching paths.
It makes sure every customer walks past every product.
Your friends have been transported to Sweden through a portal. Now they are stuck making endless BLÅFJÄLLETs in their factory.
i dont believe in you religion. my ikea crealy has branches. maybe its just my dehydration talking though. have to check next time.
You've got to master the shortcuts and often enter from the exit. It can be forced into some semblance of usability with enough practice. But I wouldn't wish the practice on anyone.
Tell us the lore: What forced you to put the work in?
Buying a house and having kids. Man I spent so much time in that godforsaken place.
Damn kids these days, thinking they're invincible and shit and don't need the IKEA Safety String™ or the IKEA buddy system
THIS is what happens when you don't listen to basic safety lectures