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this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2025
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The Onion
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Rafael Cruz...
Unless he wants to explain to his voters why he refuses to use his "Christian name" and go by a moniker instead.
What does it say on his birth certificate?
We'd have to go to Canada to find out.
Long form...
Wait, we're supposed to wait till he provides the normal one, then change what we're asking for