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this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
160 points (98.2% liked)
Mildly Interesting
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This is for strictly mildly interesting material. If it's too interesting, it doesn't belong. If it's not interesting, it doesn't belong.
This is obviously an objective criteria, so the mods are always right. Or maybe mildly right? Ahh.. what do we know?
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Not to be outdone, Trump had the following announcement from the White House:
"Today, the USA introduced its new chocolate bar, priced at over $10. Made of 0% cocoa, hydrogenated corn syrup, and trans fats. No natural ingredients, no milk, no vanilla. It's bigly on flavor and very, very, tasty. We are taking pre-orders now at USAChocolate.gov."
Are you sure they would use TRANS fats?
Since the traitors actually cut funding for transgenic scientific study because they don’t know what trans means, this is in the realm of realistic. That’s where we’re at.
They mean the rendered fat of the trans people they're planning to kill on an individual scale. Only half of that statement was a joke btw.
It must be packaged in a gold wrapper.
The MAGA candy bar on a stick in a gold wrapper $49.99. On a stick because it is for suckers.
Excellent.
Oh god why did I read that as trump fats 🤮
HAHAHA and they say having healthcare makes you feel freedom
bites into injection molded PFAS chocolate bar
They have NO idea what freedom tastes like.
spits out chewed candy bar
The best part is if you get the app subscription you can refill the taste for the next time you chew on it!
Oh, and it's gold. Not the wrapper, I mean, that is too, but the chocolate is a solid metallic gold color, like you are literally biting into a gold bar. It tastes nothing like chocolate.
If we're using the hersey model, it would be 50% castor oil, and 50% butyric acid.