Time to address the elephant in the room for Mr LargePenis. Wtf is happening in Syria? I'll first have a little breakdown of who the Druze are, then we'll see if we can cook up a little take on everything that's happening.

1. the Druze: I don't think that anyone on this website is Druze. In fact I don't think that anyone here has even interacted with them. I don't know if this crosses some rule on this cursed website, but the Druze are very fucking weird to say the least. Let's first understand who they are. Their religious beliefs are basically secret, all Druze books aren't allowed to be shown to any non-Druze person. Even Druze people don't really know what their beliefs are, as they follow a policy of secrecy even within the group itself. A random young Druze person isn't really allowed to learn the real beliefs until they reach a certain age, that's when the Sheikhs are in charge of basically measuring how much that person is deserving of knowing. Their main thing is unwavering monotheism, even their official name is not the Druze, but Al Muwahiddin (the Monotheists). They also believe in reincarnation, which is called At Tanasukh in Arabic. The faith itself originated in the early 11th century in Egypt as an offshoot of Ismaili Shia Islam during the reign of the Fatimid Caliph Al Hakim. The Druze believe that Al Hakim was a divine manifestation and a central figure in their faith, not merely a caliph but an incarnation of divine wisdom. They do not worship him as God, but see him as a hidden spiritual figure who will one day return. They also like all the usual prophets like Muhammed, Jesus and Moses, but have extra respect for Prophet Shuayb who they view as their main spiritual ancestor. They also love Aristotle and Plato and other nerd philosopher Greek guys. They have four main centres in the Middle East which are completely disconnected from each other. The biggest concentration is in Jabal Al Arab in Syria, located in Suweyda Governorate, which is around 90% Druze, and the scene for all the action in the past few days. They also dominate the Galilee in occupied Palestine and the occupied Golan Heights. They also have a significant presence in Mount Lebanon, where they fought and won two important battles in Druze history against the Maronites of the mountain. They basically dominate all mountains in the Levant area, and are split between Lebanon, Syria and Israel, with three completely different paths in the societies of all three countries.

2. Druze politics: In Lebanon, Druze politics mainly consolidated in the Jumblatt family, with Kamal Jumblatt dragging Druze politics into a socialist pan-Arab path. During the civil war, the Druze fought side to side with Palestinians, Communists and later Hezbollah and Amal. Their politics were mainly revolutionary, and against the exclusionary policies of the then-Maronite dominated Lebanese state. After the assassination of Kamal, the leadership of the Druze was passed down to Lebanon's now-favorite Twitter shitposter, the wacky and contradictory Walid Jumblatt, and we're now living in the era of the 3rd generation of Jumblatt leadership with Walid's son Taymour taking over. Their main political party is called the Progressive Socialist Party, and Druze people just like other sects in Lebanon are sectarian robots who just vote for any dude that follows the same sect. In Syria, they're a bit more insular, but still had a significant role in the founding of the Syrian state. They gained prominence during the Great Syrian Revolt against French rule, led by the Druze leader Sultan Al Atrash. After Syria's independence, the Druze maintained a pragmatic relationship with the state, with some members reaching high positions in the Baathist era. During the Syrian Civil War, Druze communities were divided, with some supporting the Assad regime and others just wanting to stay out of the problems. Their main centre in Suweyda stayed under Assad control during the whole war. One of the main characters for the SAA was Druze, everyone who was extremely online during the main stages of the war should know the name Issam Zahreddine. Relations between Assad and the Druze later soured in mid-2023, with weekly protests in Suweyda City which were called the Revolution of Dignity. They mainly protested fuel prices and stuff like that in the beginning, but it took on a more Druze nationalist character later. The thing is that Suweyda was pretty much semi-autonomous even during the war. Assad made it easier for Druze men to dodge military service for example by establishing an extensive network of officers to bribe. The presence of the SAA in Suweyda was also mainly Druze officers and soldiers, who stayed loyal to the state through the system of the Syrian state pretending that Suweyda Governorate didn't really exist, while keeping the Governorate safe from ISIS or other Jihadist infiltration. In Israel we have a more evil turn suddenly. The Druze in Israel maintain a close, but controversial relationship with the Israeli state. They aren't exempt from mandatory military service like other Arabs in Israel, and many Druze soldiers have died fighting in conflicts like the current Gaza genocide, which leads to understandable hate from other Arab groups who see them as collaborators. Politically, Druze leaders generally align with right-wing ultra-zionist parties or centrist zionist blocs. Their participation in elections often supports governments that continue evil Israeli bullshit against Arabs of 1948 and Palestinians under occupation. Druze politics in Israel tends to prioritize integration and cooperation with the Israeli government over confrontation in any shape or form. Despite their loyalty and historical glazing of Israel, the Druze community still faces social and economic discrimination by Israelis who will never accept an Arab as an equal no matter how much you suck up to them.

3. Wtf is happening now: If you have made it so far and read all the historical nerd stuff above, then you will understand if we summarise the three Druze communities in the following terms: confrontation in Lebanon, insular semi-independence in Syria, and pragmatism and sucking off the state in Israel. What's happening now within the Druze community in Syria is a combination of all these three paths into one. They're confronting the mindless bloodthirsty Jihadi Syrian government led by Jolani by carving out a semi-independent Druze State in Suweyda Governorate, with a pragmatic appeal to Israel for security. Since the fall of Assad, the new government has been unable to establish any control in Suweyda Governorate, which has been controlled by a fully-Druze militia that mainly consists of former SAA officers who threw their old uniforms and now operate under the name Rijal Al Karama (Men of Dignity). As of now, Druze High Sheikh Al Hijri's gamble seems to have worked. Israel airstriked the living shit out of Jolani's army who were marching on Suweyda, and they managed to leverage that reality into a humiliating agreement for Jolani which basically makes Suweyda independent. Of course this was only possible because of Jolani's idiotic management of the minorities question since the fall of Assad. The killings and kidnappings of Alawites on the coast showed the true colors of the new regime no matter how much Jolani tried to twerk for the West, the Gulf and even Israel since coming to power in Syria. The initial successful march on Suweyda by the new Jihadi Syrian Army left a trail of destruction and blood of innocent civilians, mainly committed by actual members of the new army with interesting Jihadi pasts. The Druze appealing to Israel for support is understandable from a pragmatic point of view, as their community genuinely faced a risk of oppression and perhaps even a threat of genocide if those Jihadis were allowed to rule over the Druze of Suweyda. The whole tribal forces nonsense was also an amateur move by Jolani who tried to benefit from the shitty relations between Druze and Arab Sunni Tribal Bedouins in the desert of Suweyda. No one could take the tribal forces thing seriously when they were departing from Damascus with heavy weaponry and then in later videos people noticed that half of these supposed tribal fighters were Uzbek and Uyghur jihadists that everyone knew from the Idlib days.

4. Who should I cheer for?: Absolutely no one. On one side you have Jihadi freaks who are supported by America and have committed indescribable crimes against Syrians already. On the other side you have an insular separatist community who put their interest over the unification of Syrian land, and now have committed a major unforgivable sin by openly collaborating with Israeli enemy to bomb other Syrians, even if they're Jihadi freaks. My take: spare the civilians, but all the combatants hopefully have a fun time.