1182

Remember to 2FA your kidneys. (mander.xyz)

submitted 3 days ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

70 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] e0qdk@reddthat.com 26 points 3 days ago

Digital Renal Management

...simultaneously rolled out with Digital Rectal Management, of course.

[-] JackbyDev@programming.dev 4 points 3 days ago

Brings a whole new meaning to the ol' "drink verification can" meme. The artificial kidney could scan the contents for firmware updates and stuff. Maybe it shuts off if you don't drink one every week.

For speech readers, not sure if something this long will fit in the alt text.

(This isn't the original text but it's close enough to get the joke. The dates and game were different in the original. This was what some copypasta website gave me.)

-2018
-wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
-excited to play some halo 2k19
-"xbox on"
-...
-"XBOX ON"
-"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
-"Doritos™ Dew™ it right"
-"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"
-reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k19™ War Chest
-only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
-still feeling sick from the 14
-force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"
-xbox does nothing
-i attempt to smile
-"Connecting to verification server"
-...
-"Verification complete!"
-finally
-boot up halo 2k19
-finding multiplayer match...
-"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"
-my mother just walked in the room
-"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"
-"NO!"
-"Console entering lock state!"
-"to unlock drink verification can"
-last can
-"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"
-drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
-pour the last half out the window
-"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"
-the mountain dew ad plays
-i have to dance for it -feeling so sick
-makes me sing along
-dancing and singing
-"mountain dew is for me and you"
-throw up on my self
-throw up on my tv and entertainment system
-router shorts
-"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"
-"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"