“What up you guys! It’s your girl Macie K here with another makeup tutorial that I have SO MUCH more time for lately, thanks to not owning my home or any of my possessions,” exclaimed beauty influencer Macie Kellerman to her 55.2k followers.

“Ever since I sold my land to a local noble, in this case Blackstone Private Equity, I can focus on bringing you this Easy Beginner Glow Up Makeup Tutorial,” Kellerman enthused, demonstrating a 3-in-1 Corrector, Concealer & Illuminator manufactured by a subsidiary of the same private equity firm.

Sounds like Idiocracy. But compared to what we're experiencing in the here & now, that film is utopian.