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I'm in a hotel in America with no kettle in my room, if I want tea I have to microwave it. (piefed.blahaj.zone)

submitted 6 days ago by LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone to c/casualuk@feddit.uk

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Wtf do I do? I'm only here for one night thank fuck but it's still very hard.

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[-] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 74 points 6 days ago

As standard in all American hotel rooms, there should be a bedside drawer, containing a Gideon's Bible and a selection of guns.

Simply fire one of the guns repeatedly out of the window, and the barrel should heat up - then dip the heated gun barrel into the cup of water, and the water should boil.

This is the American way.

[-] Denjin@feddit.uk 17 points 6 days ago

Who are the fucking Gideons? Ever met one? No! Ever seen one? No! But they're all over the fucking world, putting Bibles in hotel rooms. Every hotel room: "this Bible was placed here by a Gideon." When? I've been here all day and I ain't seen shit! I saw the housekeeper come and go, I saw the minibar guy come and go, I've never laid eyes on a fucking Gideon. What are they, ninjas? Where are they? Where are they from, Gidya? Who the fuck are these people?

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 7 points 6 days ago

I'm not convinced the hotels just don't buy the Bibles.

If it was an actual person going around providing all the bibles wouldn't they have to book all of the rooms, surely that would mean that some rooms didn't get a Bible, because they weren't free at the time. But you never see that, you never see a hotel where just one of the rooms has a Bible. It's either all of the rooms, or none of the rooms.

I think it's probably just hotel policy to have Bibles, and it's been like that for years, and now no one really cares anymore but they've still got the Bibles so they're still in the drawers.

[-] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 7 points 6 days ago

Gideons are a guild of Master Lockpickers, so they used to pick the locks of all the hotel rooms to leave their bibles.

These days, improved hotel security means that in many countries, the Gideon bible is less common than it used to be.

[-] MrPoletki@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago

where the fuck do they come from? Gidea?

[-] Denjin@feddit.uk 6 points 6 days ago

It's a bit by Bill Hicks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rz6KC-Knaxo

[-] tetris11@feddit.uk 4 points 6 days ago

All of those who give sources,
Are the same I endorses

[-] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 2 points 5 days ago

The Gideons give out the books in bulk to the hotels, rather than using secret agents.

[-] Nindelofocho@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Imagine wanting to start a hotel and at some point in the process you have to go “and now i need to figure out how to get those bibles into my rooms” as if it is an absolutely necessary component to making a hotel like a minecraft crafting recipe

[-] tetris11@feddit.uk 16 points 6 days ago

You could also a rev up an SUV for 2 minutes and heat a glass placed on the engine.

I think that's called the Dakota Freedom Boil

[-] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 7 points 6 days ago

That's a great point - especially if you're at a proper "all-American" hotel, where each hotel room has an en-suite-car-park.

[-] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 9 points 6 days ago

Mate I'm in a diner and I laughed so hard people turned round and looked. Thank you for helping me laugh through this traumatic situation.

[-] burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 6 days ago

Just carry around a copy of darwin's evolutionary tomes. Toss one on top of the bible, and use the resulting fire to warm the cup of water. As the darwin tome will be unharmed by the fire due to its superiority, you can reuse as needed in your travels.