542
Anon has a boyfriend
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 30 Nov 2025
542 points (97.9% liked)
Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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Fake: there are no girls on the internet
Gay: anon isn't a girl
Memetically compatible solution:
OP is a femboy.
Result: Win
Glad I'm bisexual, cause I'd marry the fuck out of them. Not a care in the world for what's in their pants.
How do you know what kind of oral to do, though? You just outed yourself as a terrible lover.
this is why we train on the Bop-It
Please do go easy on the 'Twist It!'
please don't
Ring.
Ring.
... Who is it?
... Honey, who is testicular torsion, and why do they want to talk to you?
Why are they twisting my testicle and not my extra nips?
... Extra nips?
Are you... Scaramanga, from the Man with the Golden Gun?
You figure it out when you get down there, it's not that difficult.
So you do still care, youre just willing to wait for that information until the exact moment it applies.
I think you're taking this too seriously
I think I'm being technically correct!
What.
How does that logic work?
They say they are bisexual.
This implies they have had sexual encounters with both meat rods and meat flowers.
... You know what to do based on ... what shape the sexy time meat is.
... How is this complicated?
It's not but that does still elide a necessary decision fork and discernment.
Just ask your partner for their instruction manual
Entirely seriously, the world would be a much better place if people defaulted to actually communicating what would be in such a proverbial instruction manual.
Fake: anon has a relationship
Gay: anon 'has' a bf (there are no girls on the internet)