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The man has an army, that's illegal!
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this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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I'm only partially joking when I say that the DOJ's case is going to trying him in court (and in public) as a drug lord narcoterrorist who had the tiny side hustle of being the leader of a country. In other words - with a straight face the DOJ will call him the Venezuelan version of Pablo Escobar.
I think you're probably bang on with what they'll try to pin him with
When I heard they were going to link him to machine guns - of all things - I had a funny conversation in my head. It was like in a Simpsons episode where Bart has a band-aid on his arm. Lisa pokes the band-aid and then he says "Ow! Quit it!" They do that over and over again. I said to myself "Machine guns." And then I poked myself with the question "Why?" I did that over and over again.
Ninja edit. The scene is much better than how I remembered it. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ovo6uB0wNdo
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy: