SSRIs. I already knew this was likely going to be my conclusion, but I really wish I started the treatment sooner. So many years feeling incompetent and damaged! Months of school missed, almost getting expelled, turning down invites, awkward friendship moments, scared of my own shadow... Anxiety is mentally brutal. It's not just being scared or exaggerating, it's a very real struggle that can destroy your social life -- which is needed to live a healthy and prosperous life. I spent so many days unable to get myself out of bed because anything outside of that area seemed like a threat.

I started SSRIs 8 months ago. I can't say it's been perfect, but that's not what I'm aiming for. Some periods are tougher than others, but I'm so grateful I'm at a state where I actually feel like I'm living -- not a shell of a person. I'm not self-sabotaging myself as much as I used to, and I'm gaining more and more independence and confidence in my daily life. I'm finally able to say that I'm happy and motivated.

I'm sure that therapy will help resolve some of my childhood trauma, so I'm looking forward to that, but I want to go into the sessions with a clear mind. Without the medication, I wouldn't be able to process and live by my psychologist's advice. I'm extremely grateful to have found a treatment that works!