66
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by VinnyDaCat@lemmy.world to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

Wasn't sure if I wanted to put it out there, but I needed a place to let it out. I suppose my situation was too good to be true. Dated for years, but the marriage itself did not make it to a single year, at least unofficially.

It's been a stressful time. She previously had a government job under an agency that doge culled. She loved her job. I realize that as a society we work too much, but to some degree people do want to feel productive and that many people find their workplaces to be places of belonging. She apologized for taking so long to come to this conclusion, but she mentioned that this time away from work has helped a lot with self-reflection.

I was aware that she considered herself bi previously and that she had relations with women before. I wasn't aware of the extent of it. She told me she felt compulsory heterosexuality for a long time, but wasn't entirely sure of it and I was her last chance in regards to men. She told me she still loved me, just not that way, and that I was the best partner she'd ever had, that she was remorseful about not being compatible in that regard. We discussed a lot of more private feelings, mostly trying to understand and showing concern for each other.

I support her. If that's how she feels then that's how she feels, and she deserves to be happy. I'm not angry with her, and we're not leaving each others lives, just changing roles. It still hurts a lot, but that's life sometimes. It isn't anyone's fault.

That said I'm glad I won't be doing anything tomorrow. I'm just struggling to function right now. And yeah, that's how it's going.

Edit: I slept in today quite a bit. I've read through most of the replies and it really melted my heart. I cried a bit. I didn't expect so many kind words or this much encouragement. I appreciate a lot of the advice too. I don't really know how to express any gratitude beyond this. I will try to reply a bit more later, but I need to take some more time to myself for a while. Thank you.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I kinda had the same problem with working through my sexuality. I started hetero because I was raised in the south so of course I wasn't gay. Then, I thought... hmmm, these girls aren't doing it for me. And so, I tried with guys. No, that's not it, either. Maybe I just haven't found the right one, yet. So, I kept bouncing back and forth thinking maybe I'm bi, because neither turned me off, but neither turned me on. Turns out, I'm ace. It took 30 years to sort that shit out, and honestly it was a youtuber talking about how they felt and how they discovered it that made me realize exactly what I was going through. Unfortunately, I have a long string of exes that didn't end well because I wasn't emotionally mature enough to understand what I was going through. Hopefully OP and anyone else struggling has a better outcome.

this post was submitted on 29 Jan 2026
66 points (100.0% liked)

Off My Chest

1660 readers
5 users here now

RULES:


I am looking for mods!


1. The "good" part of our community means we are pro-empathy and anti-harassment. However, we don't intend to make this a "safe space" where everyone has to be a saint. Sh*t happens, and life is messy. That's why we get things off our chests.

2. Bigotry is not allowed. That includes racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, and religiophobia. (If you want to vent about religion, that's fine; but religion is not inherently evil.)

3. Frustrated, venting, or angry posts are still welcome.

4. Posts and comments that bait, threaten, or incite harassment are not allowed.

5. If anyone offers mental, medical, or professional advice here, please remember to take it with a grain of salt. Seek out real professionals if needed.

6. Please put NSFW behind NSFW tags.


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS