A few weeks ago I met a system and was thinking about the possibility of a relationship with them, but they said they were taken so I was friendzoned. A few days ago they said they were willing to try polyamory again and want to date me and join my swarm, but one of their members has some creepy incel behaviours and I want to deprogram the alt right shit in his head before I get too close to him, so I friendzoned them.

Being friendzoned didn't suck and friendzoning them didn't suck. We're simply not in a place where a relationship would be healthy right now, even though we've quickly become close friends. It doesn't suck because I know how to communicate and set clear boundaries from both sides.

I think this "wah I'm in the friendzone" shit comes from straight men who never learned how to be honest with their feelings and others. Honestly, that kind of behaviour is why I'm not dating my friend. If these men spent more time learning about feelings, maybe they wouldn't be friendzoned in the first place.

EDIT: oh and obviously being monoamorous is a big source of angst for straight people, but that's their own fault too.