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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2023
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chapotraphouse
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So here's what actually happened, because the entire post was apparently deleted. I was confused about why the term "rice" was considered racist. I've always considered it to be a play on the word "race", where people made a bunch of go-fast mods to their cars that were purely cosmetic (exactly as urban dictionary defines it). Anecdotally, my biggest car nut friend IRL is asian and uses it all the time. Does that make me a bigot? These people apparently feel that I've committed crimes big enough to bring it up in random threads and misgender me, but decide for yourself please.
I did not deliberately misgender you, I'm old and from california where terms like guy and dude are often used in a non-gendered way. Also "I have an asian friend" is a hell of a way to deflect from the fact that the term rice wrt cars and ESPECIALLY Linux OS customization has explicitly racist origins.
My sister and I always addressed each other with the word "dude" and we would often refer to a plurality of our friend groups as "you guys" etc. Now this is not an excuse on my part and I should do better at keeping a check on that about myself but I was definitely not deliberately misgendering this person who comes off very strongly as a concern troll.
I get that you genuinely didn't intend to misgender, but you should probably stop calling people guy/dude if you're unsure of their gender or if they will be comfortable with it.