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this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2023
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I was pressured by my partner to have children. I had said from the outset of the relationship that I didn't want kids. That was all fine, for the first year-18 months, Then things started to change.
We did not have children, we are no longer together.
But were they also not in concrete agreement when you said that you didn't want kids? Or did they only give a vague response? Just curious what was the initial agreement exactly, and how did they changed their stance, because I'm currently on the market myself and I've been pretty upfront that I don't want kids, and it's usually my very first question before I proceed to even ask them about anything else. Those who don't want kids are also generally upfront about it and would agree immediately, whereas others may either give a vague reply or be on the fence, or straight up say they wanted kids - all of which would be an immediate rejection from me. Unless they're in firm agreement, I don't proceed any further with the chat.
I mentioned on our first or second date that I did not want kids. They were not as strong in stating it but I received no push back. So I assumed they were ok with it.
In the end they revealed that they thought that I would eventually grow up and want kids.
That relationship ended about 12 years ago.
Since then I have been more like yourself. I make sure early on that any possible partner knows that this is something that will not change.
Oh this one is funny
If i have an opinion at my 30+years, i definitely won't grow up to change it