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What has been the biggest surprise about getting older?
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this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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The toll of core life events. Having a child, taking care of elderly grandparents/parents. I thought it would be easier. Not easy but "he's not heavy; he's my brother" kind of easier. Maybe it's me, but it feels like I'm constantly running on empty. Caregiver burnout is a real beast.
Yes, being someone’s caregiver can burn you out in ways you didn’t know you could get burnt out. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being in two end-of-life care giver situations for immediate family in my life and I still haven’t fully realized the complete toll that has had on me.
I'm constantly telling my wife that I feel like I've been in emergency red alert mode for the past year and a half and the idea of another child just frightens me. You want to do this shit again? This has been the worst experience of my life. She keeps saying the next one won't be special needs but I'm good, no more kids for me, divorce me and marry someone else if you need to do that.
Man, that hurts. Even minor needs can make parenting double difficult in a world designed now for both parents working. I hope it gets better.
I feel like every conversation I have with my wife at the end of the day is which of us is able to convince the other that we are the more tired one.