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this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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No, there is something called discretion. I don't for example have to tell my wife what I think of her father. She loves him, my kids love him, I think he is a great father-in-law there is zero need for me to comment on his body odor issues to her.
...and I said to call (whoever is troubling you) in particular and bring the issue up = discretion. And using your words well, you can even talk about someone's lack of hygiene/odor.
And I said that it is a pointless conversation to have. Tact is not discretion. Tact is the act of bringing up what needs to be brought up in a face saving way, discretion is not mentioning what doesn't need to be mentioned. There is zero reason to mention this to her so I don't.
Do you seriously do this? Tell your better half literal everything. Like if you noticed her brother was a bit ugly you would definitely make a point of mentioning it to her later.
This whole thing sounds performative and selfish. Like you want to be applauded for it. Have you thought about how she feels? Knowing that any mean nasty observation you might have will be pointed out to her in a passive aggressive way.
Why are you bringing so many random problems/issues out of this? That (most likely) not even exist let alone happen? It's just a conversation, not a threat. If anything, it tells a lot about you, heh.
"hey, babe, I just wanna vent about my day for a little if that's okay"
"Must you point out every nasty observation in a passive aggressive way? Enjoy your selfish performance"
There's no "motives" when they don't exist -- you just extrapolated the whole thing for the sake of lack of arguments.
And resorting to low blows won't prove you right and neither set me as "wrong", but only show you that you've let yourself get emotionally triggered in a 3 minute long convo.
"It tells a lot about you" indeed. :^)
I rest my case.