this post was submitted on 26 Oct 2023
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it’s often pointed out that a lot of these guys have npd, which, yeah I buy that, but if npd was the driving factor this would be happening everywhere on earth, or at least everywhere with a lot of guns. What America also has is the diseased atmosphere of a crumbling, self-aggrandizing racist superpower where various segments of society are scapegoated for it crumbling, and you don’t get that in the news or in Psychology Today.
That reminds me of how upset I am that Cluster B personality disorders are currently the internet's acceptable punching bags, NPD in particular. I'm extremely close with one person who has NPD, and on good terms with another who's adjacent to my friend circle. And with those two people, I don't see the psychotic monsters that people online scream about. I see two people in extreme pain and living in constant fear that they're not good enough, that people hate them for their weakness and failures, that they need to be better and do better and that they'll never be enough and no matter what they do the nagging, judging voice in their head will never ever ever shut the fuck up and leave them alone
This isn't to say that some people with NPD aren't extreme assholes. But it's not at all a 1 to 1 ratio. It's not "asshole personality disorder". Not all sociopaths are evil serial killers, not all people with BPD are scheming demons, and not all people with NPD are arrogant shitheads.
I want to effortpost about this someday, tbh. It deserves its own thread. Over the course of my own life, I've come to realize that almost every stereotype about other groups of people is just wrong. Trans people aren't at all as they exist in the popular imagination. Neither is ADHD, nor autism. I've found out about all three of those firsthand. And this is absolutely true for every other group of people.
Same. I have a friend with ASPD and people tend to call anyone that commits attrocities "sociopaths" or "psychopaths", even though it doesn't take ASPD to do bad things. The thought of my friend being associated with pure evilness is pretty infuriating, but I wonder how they must feel.
I think people use cluster B personnality disorders as a scapegoat so that they can detatch themselves from people that did bad things. They tell themselves "That person did something awful, there's no way they wouldn't do that unless they are a narcissit/psychopath", ignoring that people that don't have cluster B disorders can do the same, and further demonise those in cluster B.
i'd be really interested in that effort post. I've wondered a few times if I have npd, in addition to being a bit on the autism spectrum and adhd. The latter two has online support, the first one only has forums for victims of the really bad cases, zero resources for anyone who might be wondering about it. Its basically inconceivable that someone with NPD might wish they didn't have it, or at least understand it enough to be in control.
If you've ever wondered whether you meet the formal diagnostic criteria for narcissism causing impairment to your life to the point where it is a full fledged personality disorder - congratulations - you now no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for narcissism.
What a fun Catch 22.
On to digging deeper into my brain to figure out why I am the way I am.
I'll add it to the list of posts I want to make
You don't like https://www.reddit.com/r/npd/ ?
The matter-of-fact tone the users there use always made me uncomfortable.
It doesn't feel productive.
I always point this out when these incidences come up. We can't talk about mental illness if we don't address that this only seems to happen to a very particular set of men. Jumping immediately to blaming mental illness stigmatizes neurodivergence everywhere, and the cultural
chudeology 
gets off the hook every time!
Of course, you'll never see narcissism demonized the way autism was because according to CHUDS, narcissistic personality disorder is a "cool" mental disorder and therefore not really a mental issue.
... what ?
Hey, don't look at me. Reddit was the one that romanticized dark core personality traits.
I wish I was spouting bullshit.