137
When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years (www.theonion.com)
submitted 11 months ago by Nougat@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social
25 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple tip that’s guaranteed to pick you up and get you back in good spirits in no time, and here it is: Whenever you’re…

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

I didn't realize what a violent man he was until he became President. It makes it even more surprising that he's lasted this long. Often, violent people meet violent ends.

Now I am hoping that he doesn't meet any violent end because he deserves to die of old age in prison. Any other outcome is robbing the American people of justice.

[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

Not to mention that if he drops dead of a massive stroke tomorrow the Qanon crowd will never ever shut the fuck up with conspiracy nonsense.

[-] Doug@midwest.social 2 points 11 months ago

I'm not convinced they will regardless, but you have a point

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

They won't shut up anyways.

[-] Ashyr@sh.itjust.works 6 points 11 months ago

These violent delights have violent ends.

[-] synae@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 11 months ago

It doesn't look like anything to me

this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
137 points (94.2% liked)

The Onion

4343 readers
810 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social