137

When You're Feeling Low, Just Remember I'll Be Dead In About 15 Or 20 Years (www.theonion.com)

submitted 1 year ago by Nougat@kbin.social to c/theonion@midwest.social

25 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My friends, everybody has their down days, and during these long winter months it is especially easy to succumb to the doldrums and find yourself in a bit of a funk. But not to fear! I have a simple tip that’s guaranteed to pick you up and get you back in good spirits in no time, and here it is: Whenever you’re…

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 30 points 1 year ago

That's very generous. Frankly I'm surprised he is still alive with the shape he is in and his dietary habits.

[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

I didn't realize what a violent man he was until he became President. It makes it even more surprising that he's lasted this long. Often, violent people meet violent ends.

Now I am hoping that he doesn't meet any violent end because he deserves to die of old age in prison. Any other outcome is robbing the American people of justice.

[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Not to mention that if he drops dead of a massive stroke tomorrow the Qanon crowd will never ever shut the fuck up with conspiracy nonsense.

[-] Doug@midwest.social 2 points 1 year ago

I'm not convinced they will regardless, but you have a point

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

load more comments (4 replies)

this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023

137 points (94.2% liked)

The Onion

4373 readers

787 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

seahorse@midwest.social

pbrisgreat@midwest.social