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submitted 1 year ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Ok good.

In the bdsm context choking isn’t safe (and no blood choking isn’t safe either, just less dangerous), and collaring generally refers to a level of commitment that shouldn’t be introduced in a “for beginners” class

[-] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

In college (a long time ago), people used to show up to parties wearing a collar to advertise that they were dtf.

I miss the simple usage of it, it's kinda weird to me how it's become a bdsm wedding band.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It’s always been a variety of things. But the bdsm wedding band thing is old. Like pre AIDS leather old. And I’m not trying to imply it’s even the only modern use of a collar even in the bdsm community, but the term collaring does imply commitment far more than the act of wearing one does

[-] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Ok. I am the last thing from a scenester so I'm sure you know better than me.

I do think it's kind of a bummer that I can't get that in low-stakes pet play b/c everybody has built it up so much.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Ok yeah that’s weird. I’ve used them in scene without commitment and in my marriage as very much commitment. You just communicate about it. And ironically I’d never suspect a pet player is using it as a sign of a lifestyle dynamic because that’s a very different context. It’s us lifestyle power exchange folks and non-pup leatherfolks that use them that way.