"Fwuahhhh!" groaned Quaid as he released himself within Janet with his magnum dong for the third time that night. Quaid had just got off rotation from the border where he was responsible for sniping human traffickers and Hamas infiltrators trying to cross from darkest Mexico to the Holy Land of Texas or whatever.

"I love you Quaid" cooed Janet, nuzzling Quaid's sandpaper like, chiselled chin.

"Save it for our Lord and Saviour" said Quaid. "I'm about to redeploy, how about another round?"

"Quaid, I'm pregnant!" Janet responded.

"Ewww, yucky, does that mean my dick was touching the baby's head? Eugh!!!", cried Quaid, mannishly, as he hastily pulled on his combat trousers (pants?) before flying away in his blackhawk.

The end