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I think dancing just isn't for me
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this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2023
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I used to think this way, till I actually learned a little bit on how to dance and then how to let go. Don't wanna look like a fool? Learn to two step first, then pick up something simple if you can. Do the "instructions" dances like the electric slide and the hustle. Then learn to use your hips.
Learning to let go was harder, but I found it easier to embrace silliness. I decided I could look dumb on accident or on purpose, and decided on the latter, so did "sweet moves" that would make people laugh - throwing in old disco moves and such (the bus driver).
Then something happened I didn't expect: I actually got decent at dancing. Turns out getting out of your own head is a great way to get loose, and suddenly you're doing your thing and enjoying it, and you're willing to try out other moves that actually do look like you might know something.
Point is, dancing is for everyone, just gotta find the right headspace (and the right music, it's still hard for anyone to dance to music they don't enjoy imo).
Your post is just a list of reasons I will never be able to dance
do whatever, but do it four times. on the beat is even better.
Sit in my chair with my back to the wall
Sit in my chair with my back to the wall
Sit in my chair with my back to the wall
Sit in my chair with my back to the wall
Lookin good, where'd you learn those moves?
Ok I'll bite: what's stopping you from learning to two step? That was the first thing I listed. You have access to the Internet, you can get really good at dancing just watching YouTube and practicing what they do. Less fun initially I'm sure, but doable.
Also my God does dancing make women more interested in you if you're a dude. It's not magic where they'll suddenly flock to you but it's a lot easier to buy a girl a drink after you've made her laugh or spun her on the dance floor. So, there's some extra motivation if it applies.
Lots of people can't even conceive of stepping on the dance floor. I find especially here on Lemmy, lots of folks are really introverted and not agreeable to "get out there and try" style challenges. Obviously not universal, but seems quite common here. Folks seem more apt to say "I have limitations that are immovable and that's the end of it". Gotta respect that life they are living, even if for folks like you or I we are motivated differently.
All the alcohol in the world wasn't able to push me through that insurmountable mental block.
I've since quit drinking, and I've also quit trying to force myself to be a person who can dance. It's just not in my bones.
This is exactly it. I used to hate dancing because I felt that I couldn't dance and everyone would look at me and laugh. It took a bit to realize that literally no one who is dancing is judging the other people around them. They're just out there moving around and having a good time. You can literally walk on to a dance floor and just vaguely move around a bit bouncing your head, and you'll fit right in.
Sadly, the "right headspace" for me involves either several drinks in quick succession, or it being my wedding.
I mean, I do think it goes along with indulging in something, bit of booze and weed, or stronger on occasion depending on the kind of party. I can do some dancing sober but it loses it's appeal much faster.
I do know people that love dancing sober as a bird, I just don't think that's gonna be everybody, or even most people. It's like any social event, a lot of people are gonna want at least one or two drinks to let the walls come down a bit.
Lot of people though that flat out won't put themselves out there and I think that stinks for them, you never know what can come from getting outside of your comfort zone. For me, I never would've gotten together with my wife if I wasn't willing to dance, and a few years before we met I was on the "I hate dancing" train for a while, so I know where some of that comes from.
Doesn't balance well with how I'm trying to deal with my alcoholism.
That is fair.
I disagree. If it implies forcing one self and a lot of work, it definitely isn't for everyone. On top of that, some people (me) just refuse to dance, because I find it stupid and not even funny.
Have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone? Have you ever tried learning a new skill that you're not a natural at? That's life my dude.
Yes, I have stepped many many times out of my comfort zone. Thank you for you concern. However, I consider dancing such a stupid, meaningless thing that even my stupidest part plainly refuse to even think of learning it. It's not like it is a useful skill anyway.
I have a hard time believing this mostly because of your attitude towards it. Is it stupid and that's why you don't like it? Or you don't like it, and therefore it must be stupid? Seems like the latter. I'd also disagree that it's not a useful skill, like any soft or social skill it has its place and it can be surprisingly useful in certain circumstances. For instance, is it useful to be able to impress your preferred gender of person? Or to make them laugh? Dancing can definitely help with that.
When I was younger I thought golf was a useless "dumb" sport, I'm now kicking myself for not picking it up a decade ago because it's extremely useful for networking and building/maintaining relationships.
I don't need to "impress" anybody. And if someone would try to "impress" me by dancing, lol, good luck with that. And frankly I prefer to avoid people that love dancing. So I don't need (not even want) to maintain these kind of relationships.
Let's stop here. I'm not going to change my mind on this topic. Ever.
You can claim that, you may even believe it, but that's all the first steps of dating someone really are. Maybe you don't do it with dancing, maybe you dazzle them with your vast intellect, but it's the same thing.
Feel free to stop whenever you'd like lol no one is going to force you to dance like no one is going to force you to reply 😉
I don't have it in me. Music just does not cause me to want to move my body. I can do the line dance ones but that's just following directions which doesn't seem to be what it's all about to me.
Oh no? You don't tap your foot, or bob your head to your music? Humans have been dancing for millennia, it's in our DNA. It's cool if it's not your favorite thing, but unilaterally ruling it out is wild.
I got made fun of for my dancing by a pretty girl in middle school, made me keep away from the dance floor for years, and I didn't know what I was missing out on.
No, if it's high energy music it can get my adrenaline up but that doesn't do anything for dancing or maybe it would be more accurate to say dancing doesn't help with that. It's more of a flight of fight response. I've tried forcing myself to dance before but it does nothing for me. I just feel like an idiot.
I felt like an idiot for a long time when I didn't know what I was doing. Still do, sometimes, esp if I'm fully sober (social anxiety yay). And in the beginning it wasn't enjoyable, either, I wasn't doing it initially to have fun, but was tired of standing on the wall or at the bar every time I went to a place or event with expected dancing (and there are LOTS of these, particularly in your 20s). It was surprising when I found myself enjoying it, now it's surprising when I don't.
I'm past my 20s. It never got any better for me. Even with irresponsible amounts of liquor.
I mean, it sounds like you tried and that's all I'm really saying is to try. Also not necessarily referring to dancing as an actual dance floor despite the post, some of my favorite "dancing" has just been head banging with my buddies. There's also added pressure to an actual dance floor that I'm not trying to hand waive away.
Same here. The issue for me, I think, is that my feelings about music are the same as my feelings about chocolate; it's fine, but I don't see why everyone makes such a fuss about it.
My lack of interest in dancing is just an extension of that.
I did country dancing (essentially line dancing, but done in a circle and without the country and western theme) a couple of times at primary school in the 80s. I quite enjoyed that, but as you say, it was about following the instuctions and patterns rather than reacting to the music.
You might enjoy salsa rueda. It is like country dancing, but is done to cool salsa music, and there is still a bit of creativity on the part of the caller, to quickly pick moves for everyone that fits the feel of the music. And it feels great when everyone is in tune with each other, working together, even when you make some mistakes.
YEEES. I've been going through this and feel like an emergent butterfly. LEARN TO DANCE. It will open up entire new worlds--like dance floors at weddings! Think of the possibilities! And it's honestly just a blast.
I'm sorry, but that's just not true. Like most things: sports, computers, athletics, intellectual pursuits, dancing; they may have wide appeal, but they are not for all people. Just because you finally enjoyed it, and even excelled at it doesn't mean everyone will.
I'm not saying everyone must dance, but everyone should try dancing multiple times and at different stages of their lives, just like the rest of the items you listed. Failing at something once or not enjoying it once and then swearing it off forever is honestly just sad.
Any resources on learning to use your hips?
Shakira lol and that's only kind of a joke, bc she's amazing at using em. I'd suggest watching YouTube or piped videos, and just watching dancers. Latin dance in particular emphasizes it, so may want to look that direction first. The easiest Latin dance to learn is merengue as that's just a two step with some extra hip movement that is easy to pick up by watching.