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What would you do in this situation
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this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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This is not easily answered because we are not fully familiar with all of the nuances of your current situation. The best advice I can give you is to make a list of the positives and negatives. This can help get the thoughts swirling around in your head out on paper. Sometimes based on being able to see the positives and negatives written down, the answer can become quite clear. Give it a shot and see what you come up with.
I would even go one little step further, a weighted list of positives and negatives, then you can just apply math to see from the data what the right answer is.
And exactly, once you see it written down - even if the data tells you the opposite - you will have quite a clear feeling of what you really want to do.
This! I did this, and the resulting weighted score went against my feelings. So, I adjusted the weights until it came out the way I want. It's not rational, but that was exactly what I wanted given the choices.
This is good advice. Not enough detail in the post and, regardless, you’re going to need to analyze your own situation because we’re probably never going to get all the nuance, even if you write us a novel.
One thing to add: you just lost a relationship and are probably going to be unhappy and grieving that regardless of where you live. If you had stayed, you’d be having the same feelings of not knowing where you want to be and feeling lost… you probably even jumped to moving back home because you made a rash decision thinking “I’m unhappy here, so here must be the problem.”
OP, the way you’re feeling is normal. You need time to grieve the relationship and figure out what makes you happy once you have a bit of distance from that situation.
That’s exactly what I was going to suggest.
Personally? I was gonna suggest living a double life, until it becomes obvious which one is better.
OP should go with the list.