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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by happybadger@hexbear.net to c/chapotraphouse@hexbear.net

I remember seeing Ashli standing there naively looking at the gun and allowing herself to be shot. I was shocked and immediately thought "Well I could clearly do better". While I watched other patriots scramble in vain to save her life, I considered all of the ways I could have done better. I would have rolled left and then come out of it with an up-kick to the door. Then as the secret service agent was knocked backward, I would have charged him and delivered three precise karate chops to his neck and gun hand. One would disarm him, one would stop his heart, and the final one would snap his spine in half. I would have kept running around karate chopping everyone and could probably defeat the entire room. Still I look at pictures of Ashli and then the defenders of Joe Brandon's regime, comparing their physiques to my own, and know that had I been there to shake her hand I would have instead done what she tried to do and succeeded. So much better than she did because frankly she was shit at it.

edit: And this is not a threat to use my karate powers against anyone. If I had been there, things would be different. That's all.

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[-] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 14 points 10 months ago

Which he admits is funny coming from him given he went to fucking war as a volunteer, but as he said "I had a gun at least".

To be able to claim "Y'know I get it, I've basically did it, but at least I could shoot back" is pantheon level of windmill-slamdunk

this post was submitted on 07 Jan 2024
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