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It's understandable. Really weird how people qualify others. "Queer" is such a -get them all- word, that it doesn't even mean anything to me anymore... By now it seems like queer means not being the extremely masculine, muscely manly man and not being the super pretty perfect 1.70 meters woman..
IMO a queer person is by definition GSRM. I wouldn't call anyone Queer that isn't part of the community, it's weird.
But queer as an adjective can mean many things. It's basically taken on the mantle of "gay" in that sense. 10 years ago we'd say "anything LGBT-adjacent is gay", now for the sake of inclusion/intersectionality the meaning has been transferred to "queer" and I'm all for it.
The fact that people not fitting strict gender norms are being called queer... well 15 years ago they'd have been called metrosexual or butch or straight-up slurs lol. The behaviors haven't changed, and that's the problem.