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submitted 9 months ago by Stoneblackdog@beehaw.org to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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[-] LuckingFurker@lemmy.blahaj.zone 51 points 9 months ago

As an asexual: can people stop sexualising everything and everyone for like a fucking second?

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 9 months ago

Imo femboys are in a weird split between kink and identity. Not just different people getting different things out of it (although that's certainly the case as well) but the concept in general. I think this exacerbates the fetishization, but people gonna fetishize everything, regardless of whether it's inherently sexual or not.

[-] MantidSys@kbin.social 3 points 9 months ago

Claiming that being a femboy is necessarily partially kink is harmful. Would you say the same about other nonbinary people? Is being a tomboy driven by kink? Is being trans driven by kink?

I think you're telling on your own views more than you're explaining how the world works. Identity exists separate from sexuality, full stop. Unless you want to revoke all trans and nonbinary identities from aro/ace people too.

And just in case you're just talking about how people view femboys - who cares? Some people view the LGBTQ as child-rapists, and we don't care what they think. We tell them they're wrong and to respect us. Same here.

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 9 months ago

Claiming that being a femboy is necessarily partially kink is harmful.

Sorry, that's not what I meant at all. Being a femboy absolutely does not have to be kink related at all.

Would you say the same about other nonbinary people? Is being a tomboy driven by kink? Is being trans driven by kink?

Absolutely not.

What I mean is that the femboy label has sort of a split nature in the public eye as an identity and as a fetish. These two aspects generally coexist without problems, because context exists and most people have the self awareness to not treat masc people presenting fem as fetish objects. Then, when they don't, you get posts like this. I think I misspoke when I said "as a concept". I didn't mean that the two natures of it were tied together per person, being masc and presenting fem absolutely doesn't need to be related to sexuality at all. Just that essentially it exists as both an identity and as a kink, both using the term femboy, and that we suffer from not being more specific/using more specific terminology to distinguish the two.