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The purpose of hard age limits isn't just to restrict the autonomy of minors.
It's also to allow adults to know where they stand, with respect to the law, and eliminate ambiguities that could be used for selective enforcement.
As an adult, I can't decide whether to sell alcohol to a minor, or have sex with a minor, etc. based on some concept of "real world maturity". And if you give prosecutors flexibility in charging adults with crimes based on some mushy concept of maturity, you can probably guess who will get the shaft: poor folks, and black & brown & red folks.
I don't know that hard age limits are "fair" to minors, I suppose I would probably agree that they are not. But we have to consider what is fair to the person who might be accused of a crime.
Of course they're fair. That is the benefit of hard limits: their fairness. They are hard because they are simply defined, and that simple definition makes them fair because it means it applies equally to everyone.