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I find the """man up""" school of thought generally works for me when faced w a tough situation but 97% of the time it's presented as an obnoxious show of bravado. What are better ways to phrase this? (lemmy.world)

submitted 9 months ago by _number8_@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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like, if i'm feeling bad but force myself to do something, i usually feel better. how to maintain the usefulness of this advice without presenting it as 'fuck your feelings', in that usual arrogant right wing sort of way

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[-] CubitOom@infosec.pub 16 points 9 months ago

Really, that thinking should be a last resort instead of the default.

It's ok to be vulnerable. It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to do or say nothing while you assess a situation as sometimes that is the best course of action.

It's only when you have no options left and you must act that you actually need to take action alone. One might actually need time to process a trauma, or experience grief. And I would argue that the ability to be vulnerable with others is it's own type of strength.

For instance, if you are noticing that you are getting depressed and are finding it hard to perform basic maintenance tasks for yourself. Instead of first trying to be strong and convince yourself to do it every time. Maybe it might be better to seek help for your depression.

[-] Jesus_666@feddit.de 10 points 9 months ago

True. "Suck it up" works in some occasions and in others it makes everything worse. It's a terrible default approach to teach your children because they can end up never learning how to deal with stress in a healthy fashion.

The result is usually someone who builds up stress where other people don't (and then acts accordingly) and who has absolutely no ability to comfort other people when they need it. Few parents want their children to be lonely assholes.

Of course it's harder to teach someone nuance. Identifying when it's okay to be vulnerable and when you need to tough it out by yourself is difficult. But if you're not capable of both you're lacking essential tools.

this post was submitted on 29 Feb 2024

195 points (91.5% liked)

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