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this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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It's context-dependent. "They" as gender-neutral was also considered context-dependent until recently.
I agree that it can sometimes be gender neutral. I do not agree that it is gender neutral.
Referring to a group of people with a trans woman in it as "you guys" is passive aggressive for example.
It would be worse to treat trans women differently than other women.
Some people object to this usage of "you guys." Some people also object to "y'all." I know someone who dislikes "y'all" because it reminds them of confederacy and slavery.
If there is someone who expresses discomfort with certain words, it's usually best to avoid those words in their presence.
By the way, nobody can be expected to know whether or not a woman they are talking to is transgender. "You guys" should not be avoided for the sake of trans women if it isn't avoided for the sake of all women.
Literally a trans woman. It is also rude to cis women but cis women don't really worry about being misgendered the same way.
Literally a cis woman. I'll avoid calling you you guys. My trans friends approve of its usage though. I don't find its usage rude when applied to me. Please don't try to play the identity card just to win an argument.
How much have you read on setting male as the default as it relates to misogyny?
I'll take s/actress/actor/g any day of the week.
I'm not invalidating your experiences, and you do you. I wouldn't put it past shitty people to use it passive-aggressively as a way to misgender someone, and if you've experienced that, I am truly sorry you've had to deal with such shitheads.
At the same time, I know plenty of trans and cis women that don't see it as rude or invalidating of their gender identity, and even use it themselves to refer to groups of people with mixed genders.
It's a matter of boundaries and knowing one's company. Some people are cool with it, and some people aren't. It would be nice if everyone was using ungendered terms by default, but that's going to take a while, unfortunately.