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When people tell you who they are...
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
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So a murderer gets replies and I couldn't even get a match before I gave up, sounds about right lmao
Step 1: be attractive
Step 2: don't be unattractive
Unironically this. Tinder is built in such a way that it makes appearance count far more than it does in almost any other environment. Add to that that there's a huge disproportion between male and female users. For most people, Tinder is just a miserable experience.
I was married before any of these apps became available, so I've never experienced them. How do people deal with the Instagram filter effect? I'm assuming everyone is using every filter they can for their profile pictures. So what happens when you actually meet someone in real life without all those filters? Does everyone just flee in terror at the arrival of their date?
Yes. That's pretty much what I would do. Flee.
It's a giant waste of time for everyone. It's honestly horrible and I wish there was a way to seriously penalize people who do that. I'd say >80% of the girls use filter effect. I can't tell guys since I don't look at guy profiles. Though, guys would have better effect taking a pic in front of a random Porsche parked on the street and lie about their height than using filters.
You can tell people are using filters most of the time once you've seen enough. Lot of them are pretty obvious. And some of them are completely obvious as it still has the filter's name literally on the photo.
I would absolutely prefer to match on below avg girl with real face than hot girl with fake filter face. With real photos, I know what I'm getting into, and found them to be much more down to earth as well.
It's not just the filters, how photogenic you are also has a huge effect there can be a massive difference between what you see on the tinder pics and what's in real life and it goes both ways, as in it can be much better but also much worse
I mean it’s kind of rare, you usually end up snapchatting at some point or whatever, I had a good amount of dates from Tinder and I never felt tricked really as far as I can recall.
Example A:
Jeremy Meeks aka That Hot Mugshot Guy
That is indeed the rule.
I couldn't even get conventionally unattractive people to respond lol
I mean could I be the problem? Sure, I hate myself more than any person that exists or ever has existed lol
It is more nuanced.
I'm what you would consider handsome, until you take a picture of me. Then I look just fucked, I don't know what it is about my face but it has to be in motion.
You might just be better in person. Don't know, but I think it's all about perspective. No one will like you if you can't find a way to like yourself.
You likely don't know how to take pictures. There was one "coach" that I've seen who basically said take 100 selfies a day to get skilled at taking pictures of yourself. As well as when taken by someone else. That way you know what poses, angles and expressions work and don't work for you. There's obviously more about it, but point is that everything needs practice, and a lot of it.
Is it odd that I feel weird practicing taking pictures of myself? What you're saying makes perfect sense, I just feel grimy in the doing.
It's not odd imo. I feel weird about it too. But I can't help but accept it as a fact which works. All the insta addicted people essentially do this every day for years and it's why they're able to produce good pictures.
It's normal socialization into the puritanical slave cult mentality which dominates popular culture, men especially aren't allowed to be seen to care about appearance while simultaneously being heavily judged for any deviation from the accepted norms.
I think it's actually a radical act against the established patriarchy to take the time to learn to look your best in selfies and to pose for pictures. Learn your body, use beauty products, think about what outfits suit you and what they say about you.
I think that your reasoning likely applies to some or many, but it is in no way reflective of why I dislike preening myself.
I've experienced excessive vanity, I've experienced blatant narcissism. I also recognized the capacity for both within myself, which is what makes posing in front of a mirror feel so slimy to me. I just don't know if others feel this way, or have had similar reactions.
I think that's part of it to be honest. When I take a picture I look absolutely atrocious, no angles or lighting save me from looking ugly as hell lol
Ugly people like hot people too.
This generally isn't something you'd open with when seeking a date, but you might attract some hawt goth chicks, so it'll possibly pay off.
Lol I'm only open about that kind of stuff when I'm sorta anonymous like on here. I like to think I have some charm in person or when sending messages.
I don't get it though, don't women love the intro message of "ayyy bb nice tits, let's make fuck!" It never seems to work... :P
You should get that bitch a stick. Bitches love sticks. Maybe some blue.
Blue has all the antioxygens
ROFL
Pshh. You can't hate yourself as much as I hate myself. Get in line. And it's BEHIND ME.
Don't mind if I do
That would mean you put yourself above others so I'd gladly get behind, I don't belong in front.
Lol :P
Sounds like you’re the sort of person who does well in candid pictures. In order to get a great profile picture, have someone you know take photos of you while you’re having a coffee and a chat with a friend for fifteen minutes or so and try to ignore the camera as much as possible. I definitely look much better candid than posed; I honestly believe that most people do!
A.k.a. Ted Bundy