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Asking a girl out for comic book store date?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2024
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Ok dude... I'm going to go back and time and tell 15 year old me what to do. You can come and listen if you want.
"First off, let's not rush shit. You always rush shit, so you need to play it cool. Don't say date.. even if it's a date, don't say date. You asked two girls you liked as friends to go to see a movie you wanted, and one got mad you asked the other one first because she thought it was a date. So you gotta be cool.
"So basically say "want to go to the comic book store?" She likes comics she's going to say yes. Heck don't specify a specific time, so when she asks "When?" you know she's interested, work out a time. Even if she asks "like a date" say "what ever" with a smile, she'll think it's cute. Play it cool dude!
"Second do a little research, find some place to eat that's cool. If it goes cool at the comic store, suggest going to grab a bite. Don't choose anything too pricy, casual just two friends chilling out. If she thinks it's a date, it'll work, if not it's just a hang out. Great. Then play it by ear. She might suggest "What do you want to do?" She might just want to go home and even if she doesn't want to eat that's not the worst thing.
"Now dude, I've given you the plan. Let me tell you the other side. You're a fucking idiot, you're going to flub that, but don't freak out. If you say something stupid it's not the worst thing in the world. You're a nerd, but if she's the one for you, she'll like that about you. Just don't rush shit... You got this.
"Good luck Young Kinglink" ( Spoiler, never worked, didn't find my first girlfriend until I was 24... ehhh now married and happy so you get there eventually ). And good luck Chris, but take it easy my friend, and don't push the date aspect too hard unless she's given you signs, and I'm guessing she hasn't... yet.
Others are saying make it clear it's a date, but if you do that, it's binary. She wants to date you and says yes, or she doesn't (and that might hurt your friendship)... she probably doesn't know you well enough to date you yet otherwise you'd know for sure if this was a good idea.
Oh but to answer your question. For the right girl? A comic store date would be perfect, especially if you know she likes comics.
Counter argument: unclear communication is a road to sorrow and anger. Be clear with your intentions. You may suffer some losses up front, but you won't waste your time with someone who's not interested in what you're interested in.
Also, if someone isn't excited to go out with you, you can do better.
If the other person thinks it's just a friendly hang and you abruptly context switch into a sexual/romantic thing, there's good odds she'll be mad, and rightfully so. She may read it as you weren't actually interested in her or the activity, but were being deceitful to try to get in her pants.
Be honest. Be prepared for rejection. Don't mislead people.
And you burn bridges pretty quickly.
Listen, I get the modern mentality of "If women don't want to date you who cares if you scare them away." but having friends is more important to dating someone so maybe building a social network is better than just rushing to date every girl you meet. Besides if a guy has no female friends, probably
Yeah the key is you don't treat it as a sexual/romantic thing at first, if you're both interested, there will be SOME clue or at least get to know her first., rather than trying to date her immediately. This isn't a speed run competition, you can take some time to get to know people.
There was 8 years where I "tried to be clear"... guess what, I ended up with 1 female friend because most women don't want someone who tries to date them to hang around with them. And that was long before this whole incel/friendzone shit was popular. If you meet a girl and immediately try to date her, that's the biggest of red flags.
But go do you, just don't be surprised that "Being direct" keeps biting you in the ass.
Your reply is not fully applicable because the context here is he already wants to date this woman.
You can and should have friends that aren't your own gender. This post specifically isn't about that. The guy wants to date her. Hanging out and pretending otherwise can quickly tip over into something unfortunate. You can find out awkwardly late that they already are seeing someone, they don't date men, they have incompatible relationship goals, or whatever, and make less good decisions because you're acting with incomplete information.
Many of my friends have been women. Many of them I didn't especially want to date or fuck.
I had many years in my youth of awkwardly hanging around women hoping something would align.
Turns out "Do you want to go on a date? There's a bar by me that has arcade machines" and "do you want to make out?" are a potent combination.