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this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
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Dating/romantic relationships. I usually manage to uncover multiple deal breakers on the first date, and I'm pretty sure that's more of a "me" problem, than a problem with the type of people I date.
It could be that you're just really efficient.
I have BPD, which means that the longer I know someone, the more faults I find and the more I start to go from liking them to hating them.
It is very much a "me" problem, but one that has no solution yet. ๐ฎโ๐จ
Out of curiosity, what are some examples of what you would consider to be dealbreakers?
Oh man, I've really slowed down my dating, so it's hard to remember many of them. I know some of these are actually reasonable, but others are just me looking for faults/expecting perfection:
I'm out x5
Thanks for the candid answer. I understand the urge to nitpick. Although, for the life of me I can't understand how having a dog could be a negative. I feel like at worst that would just be a neutral? I'm guessing you're not a dog person?
I'm just not thrilled about the idea of sharing a home with a dog, and cohabitation is something I'd like in a long term romantic relationship. I grew up with dogs, and lots of friends family have dogs, so it's not an absolute, 100% deal breaker, but I hate when they jump on me, I don't enjoy their "kisses", and I'm easily irritated by many of the noises they make when I'm chilling quietly at home. I'm also easily irritated by noises that humans make when sharing close quarters, but it's rare to really notice those on a first date.
I also live in a dense area with very few private yards, so anyone I'm dating likely has a similar living situation, making it so that dating a dog owner has more overlaps than I'd like compared with dating a single parent of a young child. If you want to take an overnight trip together somewhere, you either have to bring the dog/child along, or you have to find a sitter.
On top of that, I have young adult cats, so the possibility of eventually moving in together becomes much more complicated.
Wow, call me triggered here XD I'm interested what your reasoning here is.
You could probably describe me as a "functional alcoholic", so I find it pretty hard to imagine that I could be compatible with someone who never drinks. If I were to casually get to know someone through platonic interactions (mutual friends, sports, classes, etc.), I might be able to get to know someone well enough where it could work, but if the initial "get to know you" phase is through 1 on 1 dates, I just can't see it working out.
Sounds like a super power to saving money!
In the short term maybe, but there's definitely some areas where things become more affordable when you have two incomes contributing. Housing is a big one, and apparently also taxes.
Recent article about that: https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/24055481/single-benefits-married-couple-taxes-money
Just find an enterprising other individual and create a business plan to get married on paper.
You might want two main bedrooms in a house. So a little remodeling cost. But then you can resell later as a mother-in-law room.
Hahaha, definitely something that has crossed my mind more than a few times. I definitely see marriage as a business arrangement between good friends that hopefully includes a romantic/sexual component. Just not really sure how/where to go about interviewing for that role. Lol.