Thankfully most people understood my comment as humour.

Humour in perfect fit with the question and the hyperbole the slogan represents.

For the record, I'm too old (and too cool) for school and I live in one of those civilised countries where we don't have gun crime or the weather for more than two BBQs per year.

However much caffeine you have in the morning, I suggest you cut it by half and replace it with meditation or masturbation instead to better embrace the joy of life over internet conflict