DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately at social events, I often find myself trapped by people who want to share, in excruciating detail, their genetic test results.
Each person finds their own results deeply compelling, marveling at length over being 3% this and 15% that, with stunning reveals like, “I thought I we were Welsh, but it turns out we’re Scottish!”
Meanwhile, the next person is on deck, barely half-listening, eagerly getting ready to launch into their own genetic saga.
Monologuing about the minutiae of one’s DNA is self-absorption at, quite literally, the cellular level. Is there a polite way to shut this down?
GENTLE READER: Oh, dear. Miss Manners would have thought that we had established the idea that bragging about one’s lineage is rude, and now it has started up again.
Well, you could try expanding the scope of the conversation. Try, “What would your ancestors have thought of the state of America today?” Or, “I suppose you must want to travel there now. What are your vacation plans this year?”
Or, “Excuse me, I need to freshen my drink.”
they tested my cum and it came back Probably Nordic, just like Opa always said!!
Fuckin real talk. Similar situation actually in that I know my great grandfather was chickahominy from old pictures & newspaper clippings (I'm not about to do the white american thing and claim I'm part of that culture though), and there's some afro cuban history but that's about all I know. Plus half of my family are toxic no masker antivax black republicans so yeah, the value of extended family to me is.....lol.
And I am 100% not sending my DNA to any of these companies, you're right about the shady shit they could easily get up to
I'm not surprised there's a lot of Native Black folks considering that we certainly had a shared interest, lol. I would love to learn more about the culture, respectfully. On my mom's side I'm an islander (was born there actually) so I know about some of it but it doesn't go back that far
It kinda sucks we don't have a lot of options for exploring our ancestry like white people do 😑