This is me and music. I love playing, composing and performing. But do I want to be a musician? hell no. The industry is fucked up, abusive, ungrateful and miserable. Sure, for less than the 1% they get to be billionaire celebrities. But for the rest it is unlimited hard work and atrocious conditions without safety nets or benefits and meager pay (A cousin is a pro musician and I get to know all the ins and outs). I want to enjoy music, not work at music. I learned that on the organized swimming competition rings. Didn't get sucked into the machine, but got to see how miserable it can be to do something you love for work, competition or for a living. Chose a lovely career that I enjoy enough to happily do it well everyday, but that is not a surrogate for my whole life, passion and personality. Still get to enjoy music and swimming as recreation and hobbies.