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Ask Lemmy
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Lemmy does have a problem where people don't get the idea behind it. But it's not required to have seperate logins for instances which are federated. This very post I do with my @feddit.de account and when you check other user names you'll see users from other instances as well.
I can’t login to .ml, that fact is confusing. You say federated and I think I get that, but I think to most people not in the IT world, that’s basically “abracadabra”.
You don't need to login to lemmy.ml. As long as lemmy.world and lemmy.ml don't block each other you will see posts from both servers.
I'm currently browsing on feddit.de and saw this thread on the "all" feed. By default your filter might be set to local only.