176
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
176 points (96.3% liked)
Ask Lemmy
27027 readers
876 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I constantly block people on the Internet based on the content they deliver, how they answer, whether they are logical and polite, or leap straight to manipulations, lies and insults.
Some think it's a radical approach, but I don't see it that way. For all its capabilities, the Internet isn't real and neither are the relationships we have with people on numerous sites that form its social aspect. Thus, there's really little logic in giving people second chances, wasting time, attention and effort for them, trying to get through their attitudes and suffering to reach "real" them.
It's like "you have the chance to be polite and reasonable - resign from this chance, and I'm gonna resign from you".
And yet, your comment history.
You checked! ❤️
What do you do about those people who have spent a lifetime crafting how to best piss in someone's face while still superficially appearing reasonable and polite? Myself, I tell them to go eat a fuck. They're not as clever or nearly as decent as they work so hard to believe. It's just a device that allows them to feel superior and discount others. That's why it's so loved by narcissists.
Family, friends are special people in our lives and so they get special treatment. They aren't just any people you can throw away, sever ties with and block. If the relationship between you evolved into ping-pong of requests and demands, it's unhealthy relationship and you need to put the effort and at least try to make it work. It works both way - the same is expected of them.
You may fail at that, they may fail at that, you all mail fail, unfortunately, but this is in no way the reason to feel good about it, no "victory", no "yay!" achievement.
To see people announcing in public that they got rid of their closest family because they "didn't respect my pronouns", said in a scornful tone... No. This is wrong. It's a clear indication of a flawed life.
You may think otherwise, you may disagree - I have no problem with that, feel free to go about your way, while clicking "block user". But don't argue with me that I am wrong about my thinking, because there are no arguments that will change my opinion on this topic.
Surely you must see that each case is nuanced and having a blanket statement for everyone is just naive? Saying "you must work hard at your family relationships simply because they are family" is just as generalized as "you have the agency to block out family members when they wrong you."
The world is shades of grey and having a staunch, polarized opinion is limiting oneself.
I am well aware of that.
But I'm also aware of the fact that everyone has enough time to present their story in the Internet with all the nuances included. Nobody in the Internet is obliged to be a telepath - the correct framing of the story is its author's responsibility. If they choose to be scornful towards their own family with "they didn't accept my pronouns" as the only argument, then they deserve as much scorn too.
I concur. You’re blocked.
That's how it's supposed to work. 👍
Dat echo chamber
Sometimes, you gotta step back and look at all the long-ass comment chain you spent arguing with that one idiot who just won’t accept any logic you throw their way, and wonder whether or not your time would be better spent if you just never had to see their ignorant nonsense ever again.
You're absolutely correct.
I think that saying that someone "failed at life" is a bit stupid because, they would do exactly what you recommend in your own comment; they would give friends & family a second chance:
Maybe you see things differently, but perhaps there is something more interesting and constructive you could say than: "You both failed at life."
Of course, arguing online is pretty fun... haha! :)
I certainly see things differently. I see a person who wastes time in the Internet instead of trying to fix what absolutely should be fixed - it's not that we have all the time in the world to make things right. Look at the part you quoted - "before she passes". The guy realizes that the mother may die, but still, talking crap on the Internet seems to him like the better choice to spend the precious time left on.
For me, selecting Internet upvotes, virtual handshakes and high fives by random, anonymous nobodes, over family is certainly within the definition of "failed at life", and I'd sooner bite my own tongue off rather than approach such a person with "interesting and constructive" words.
Definitely! 🧐
Well said.