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this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
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A girl I had been seeing for years, and thought I loved more than anything. After a lot of really intense drama that I honestly didn't think I'd survive, and the following analysis with a psychologist, I realised she'd been emotional manipulating me for a very long time.
When I finally cut her out, things just became so much better. I've learnt what a truely kind and loving person can be like, and what it's like to not walk on eggshells or have constant anxiety. So many seemingly innocent comments that in hindsight were insanely toxic controlling statements. It's been incredible to feel free.
Im glad you recognized the manipulation & got her out of your life. Emotional manipulation can be so hard to spot.
It's honestly one of those things I'll never stop doubting, there's a strong voice somewhere in my head telling me I'm wrong and being selfish.
Thankfully I've had enough therapy to know better, but that kind of manipulation really does have a good way of convincing you it's not there.
You're not alone in having this sort of story.
Speaking as someone else who survived an emotionally abusive relationship years ago (with gaslighting so successful that I had to start secretly recording our conversations on my phone to make sure they really happened the way I remembered and not the different story she would tell me later), successfully cut my ex out of my life and worked on myself, and am now happily in a truly wonderful and healthy marriage to an amazing person, congratulations on getting out.
I'm so damn happy to hear it worked out for you, that really gives me hope
It's an ongoing process. Therapy helps, as does a truly understanding partner.
When I started dating again, my past crappy experience ended up contributing to my now-wife and I hitting it off so well: