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this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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I was at home called out of school for being sick. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, the whole nine yards.
Was laying in my bed when I felt the urge to fart. I didn't really trust it, but I felt too sick to want to get up and go to the bathroom, so I held it as long as I could. Finally it got to be too much and I tried to release some of the pressure with a controlled release.
It was anything but controlled. The floodgates that were my sphincter broke. A stream of thick, yet watery, doodoo hit my poor little whitey tighties with a force that turned them into a fine mesh screen. I didn't even have time to react before it was all over not only me but also my bed.
I did the crab walk of shame to the bathroom, where I quickly disposed of my underwear and showered for what felt like eternity.
I burnt all the bedding.
Ehh shit smells bad but burnt shit is 5 times worse!