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What are you insecure about?
(lemmy.ca)
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this post was submitted on 04 Jun 2024
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I have never been in a relationship in my 36 years, in my daily life I feel secure, but I am fucking terrified when I think about finding a partner, I am interested in finding one as I am getting pissed at allways being alone, but I have no idea on where to start.
It's just really hard. I would put it up there as one of the most challenging things we do in life. It can be absolutely soul destroying to be rejected.
if you think not having anyone is bad, dating will ruin you. it's brutal, illogical, and cruel.
That sounds like absolute hyperbole.
Also while there are times I do feel lonely and desperately want someone to share my life with, I am under no illusions that what I am imagining is a fairytale and that a real relationship will be very different.
In my dreams my partner has no real objectives on her own, that would be increadibly boring in reality.
In my dreams my partner is an accessory to my existance only existing to make me happy, in reality in an ideal relationship we both have goals, needs and wants, and work together to acchive both or goals, needs and wants.
I realize that my dream partner does not exist as I imagine her, and that we will both need to grow into a successfull partnership.
I am still quite happy living alone, so if/when a relationship doesn't work out, I will still be capable of living on my own.
I don't want a housewife, I find the entire concept unfair to both parties, unfair to me for shouldering me with all income for the household, unfair to my partner for forcing her to give up her carreer. I realize it works for some, but not for me.
Talk to someone who has been through a divorce and had their entire life destroyed.
And get out of your own head.
Well obviously if you just speak to people who has had bad experiences, then yeah, you will just hear about the bad stuff...