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this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
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Are people really so addicted to social media that they can't use their own willpower to simply not have those apps installed?
Yes!
It’s a problem that a lot of people have, some are willing to acknowledge it and try to take steps to work around it.
Some people were born into the social media generation and have been fed a product designed to be addictive their entire lives.
I don't really understand poor self control, but I concede it exists and many people have it.
I can't really imagine what it's like to decide to do a thing and then just... don't. Not like "I decided to run a mile and discovered I physically couldn't", but "I decided to uninstall the app and then I just didn't"
Who's in charge? What's happening in there?
It's not poor self control. It's addiction. Some people reinstall Instagram for the same reason some people light another cigarette.
Preeeeaaaccchhhh!!!
I don't really understand addiction. I'm not denying it exists, but I haven't experienced it firsthand so I struggle to imagine what it's like.
I feel like I'm in charge of my decisions and I can't imagine otherwise. Is it like you black out and suddenly you're outside with a smoke?
I like to compare addiction with hunger. You are feeling bad when you have it and only eating will get you feel comfortable again. Also it is hard to fast. It's difficult to not eat something.
You are most likely not making the decision " I am eating now so my body has something to process" more in the line of "I'm hungry. I don't want to feel hungry, therefore I'm going to eat"
(edit) And you are absolutely able to get yourself sick that way, depending what you eat and how.
I responded to your other comment, but I like this question too. I haven't been addicted to a substance, but I can firmly say for other things that the answer is "No". I'm not blacked out, I'm completely present when I'm making this choice, but sometimes there's a constant justification of "ok I'll do it this last time and tomorrow is when I'll resist it." And you keep doing that. And that voice gets weaker over time to where you just start accepting that this is what you do now. And that often comes with self-loathing and frustration.
Imagine having the worst flu you've ever had. It feels like you're dying. And there is literally only one thing that will help and taking it will instantly cure you.
You're going to do what you can to get that thing. It's a difficult urge to fight, especially when it feels like life or death (and in the case of alcohol and benzos, it can be).
Your body dictates that you do things all of the time... You can only hold in your piss and shit for so long before it starts to harm you. You need to eat food. You need oxygen, and cannot hold your breath until you die. Your body has tons of "reflexes" that cause you to do things outside of your control all of the time.
I've never experienced addition either, luckily. From what I understand, you become more and more reliant on the substance, to the point where you literally cannot function if you don't smoke that cigarette. Depression, lack of sleep, constant grumpiness, they're all withdrawal symptoms for a reason. At the same time, it heavily affects your judgement and decision-making abilities, making it incredibly difficult to resist the urge to light a cigarette.
Now imagine trying to quit. You're depressed, haven't slept right in three days, and a cigarette can instantly give you that boost of dopamine you so desperately want and need. Besides, it's just one cigarette, right? How bad could it hurt? I can't blame anybody for failing to quit. Quitting an addiction sounds like hell, and I'm glad I've never needed to experience it.
Whoa dude, these are questions nobody's ever asked before!
Try reading a book or something, damn... This shit has been talked about and studied to death, you don't need to hypothesize.
Or just see if you can hold your breath until you die. You can't? WHO'S IN CONTROL? Spooky.
That’s kinda… odd
Not relating to poor self control at all sounds like being dishonest with yourself or some sorta personality disorder.
Poor self control at times is like a fundamental part of being human. I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t had poor self control at times, even these “self control” guru people talk about it as something that’s always there but you need to overcome it.
Maybe we're not talking about quite the same thing, or I communicated badly?
There was a forum I liked and used every day, but then for reasons that aren't important I decided to not use it anymore. For weeks I still thought about the site and would accidentally start typing the URL sometimes. But I'd committed to leaving, so I left.
It sucked but it wasn't hard in the same way that running a mile or doing calculus is hard.
Or like when a family member was a huge asshole I really wanted to just let them have it. But I didn't, because that would've made things worse. But I guess I understand how you might decide to just let loose there.
So I guess I do understand it better than my previous post.
Maybe the problem for me is not really getting it when it's about, like, doing the dishes. Or going to work on time. Things that seem so easy to me they don't even register as a self control check.
Well, that's the difference. At different points in my life I've had varying levels of self-control. You have a higher bar than I do right now for what requires a self-control check.
My username is what it is for a reason. I don't think being on a site like this improves my health or mentality in any way, yet here I am. I still go on Reddit on a desktop when I'm working almost out of habit, even though I'm kicking myself mentally the whole time I'm scrolling. I wake up, say "30 more minutes" to myself knowing full well that will make me start work later, less prepared, hungry, and unshowered and I'll have to work later into the night (when I work from home). I watch YouTube until 1 am or later most nights because I don't want to sleep even though I'm tired and I know it will make my day miserable tomorrow. Dishes are piling up because I say I'll get to it later.
People have different thresholds for this and at other times in my life I could just shut off many of these urges. Right now, because of my mental health, that ability for self control is near zero. Just think of that push-back you get when you say to yourself you're going to go for a run and imagine that push-back to be stronger and applied to literally anything that requires effort or mental presence.
The psychology term is “locus of control”. It’s used to describe how much control a person has over their life, with an internal locus of control more associated with taking personal responsibility. Like “I see a mountain, I’m going to climb it” versus an external locus such as “I can never get ahead at work because my boss is mean to me, it doesn’t matter what I do”.
Since the article says smartphone addiction triggers a chemical response similar to drug addiction, it’s helpful to look at addiction resources for some answers to your question. As fyi, the reason you’re getting downvoted use because it could be perceived that you lack empathy for others who can’t control themselves but based on your question and other comments, it seems like you’re actually just curious about the topic.
When you asked “who’s in charge”, it was insightful because a number of articles about addiction ask that same question. Eg:
https://recovery.org/pro/articles/whos-in-charge-you-or-your-addiction/
Thanks. I've heard of locus of control before (as opposed to locust of control, which sounds rather metal).
My mother was always late for work. She'd say it was because of the traffic lights, or the coffee took too long to make, or whatever. I'd be like "just start getting ready for work 15 minutes earlier" and she'd act like I was a crazy asshole. She has a very external locus of control. Things happen to her for no reason, and nothing she's done has any connection. Drives me crazy.
I do struggle with empathy but I'm working on it.
It's not strictly social media. It's boredom. We're basically using these things to groom ourselves to have attention problems.
And in the end it's not that they can't, but they actually have absolutely no reason to want to. There's no immediate or probably even no intermediate consequence to sitting down on TikTok for 2 hours. You get your serotonin boost and nothing bad happened.
Of course you could have spent the time constructively, learn a new skill, cleaned the bathroom, but those are the exact opposite of getting that serotonin boost.
Yes. That's how addictions work.
Mm... You don't have a single thing in your life where you struggle with self control?
Really?
It's a completely foreign concept to you?
We are on social media right now
Instead of asking us, perhaps define addiction for us first, and how it corresponds to willpower.