Everyone said I was disadvantaged by having a single parent, but I didn't have to live through any of that shit except for 1 year my mother married (and then left the guy because he was an ass)
Yeah I had a similar situation. My dad was a toxic person who thought it was wrong when I cried (which I did a lot; I was a very emotional kiddo) and my mom did everything she could to protect me from that. They eventually separated the year I went into high school, and guess which one I still talk to now in my adult life.
Maybe it's because i hang around the queer parts of the Internet so much but this story just feels incomplete to me without an "I showed him, I'm a woman now" at the end :)
I had subtly internalized that idea from growing up in a small, narrow-minded town. I don't remember it explicitly being said to me but probably it has. Don't think it came from my parents though. Definitely not from my mom, maybe from my dad.
My point is that despite the subtlety of it all (as far as I can remember), I had a hard time getting over this internalised toxic masculinity. I can only imagine if it was much more explicit.
But you are you! You define your own masculinity. And as paradoxal as it may seem, being comfortable in your own masculinity, however you define it, is the most manly thing you can do.
Mine just accused me of being gay via hearty use of homophobic slurs, because only women and gays cry, and i wasnt no woman.
That's lame. Real men aren't afraid to cry, whether straight or otherwise.
Everyone said I was disadvantaged by having a single parent, but I didn't have to live through any of that shit except for 1 year my mother married (and then left the guy because he was an ass)
One good parents better than 30 shitty ones, mate, and sounds lik you had a good one.
Ehhhhhhhh.... I wouldn't go that far. I had a not-terrible one, who only showed bad sides when I was in my 20s. lol
Yeah I had a similar situation. My dad was a toxic person who thought it was wrong when I cried (which I did a lot; I was a very emotional kiddo) and my mom did everything she could to protect me from that. They eventually separated the year I went into high school, and guess which one I still talk to now in my adult life.
That hurt to read, I'm so sorry
Maybe it's because i hang around the queer parts of the Internet so much but this story just feels incomplete to me without an "I showed him, I'm a woman now" at the end :)
I had subtly internalized that idea from growing up in a small, narrow-minded town. I don't remember it explicitly being said to me but probably it has. Don't think it came from my parents though. Definitely not from my mom, maybe from my dad.
My point is that despite the subtlety of it all (as far as I can remember), I had a hard time getting over this internalised toxic masculinity. I can only imagine if it was much more explicit.
But you are you! You define your own masculinity. And as paradoxal as it may seem, being comfortable in your own masculinity, however you define it, is the most manly thing you can do.
Sorry to hear about your parents, they suffer from emotional immaturity. Don't let them hold you back from what makes you happy.
No offense, but fuck 'em, go enjoy your life! ๐