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this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2024
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Nobody, so far, has addressed the physical intimacy bit, to my satisfaction.
There's kinds of intimacy satisfaction that are only possible after years and years of practice and communication. That usually also includes sex, but it doesn't have to.
There's something special about being touched (and not touched!) at just the right time, in just the right way.
Those of us in relationships that are really long running tend not to talk about it, because it doesn't make everyone who hears it better off, since there's a ton of luck involved in finding a long term partner for it.
On the flip side, if your long-term relationship is not like what this person is describing and intimacy has dwindled to an occasional uninspired surprise, but your relationship is such an integral part of your day to day life that you are unable to make changes, then the whole thing kinda sucks.
So I've heard. From a friend.
For what it's worth, I've been there. I was pretty sure we were headed towards divorce (my decision) because my partner's sex drive just wasn't a match. I was sticking around to setup my partner to be more financially stable when things started to turn around.
Tons of practice at (super awkward , at first, and always naked) communication is the main thing that helped us past all that.
Also, some natural life changes happened, like the kids getting older and becoming less effort.
It can get better with time and a lot of talking about it.