I want to look at the goddamn wall and think it's art and have the curator tell me that it's just a wall. I want the curator to tell me a dick joke and then tell me it's part of an art exhibit.

That actually sounds like fun. I like my local museum but there's none of that kind of dynamic. It's mostly either historically important but boring pieces (such as portraits of George Washington or whatever the fuck), abstract sculptures that I swear are mostly about showing off how well the artist can make a wacky looking thing stand up (fair enough, I am impressed), and statues / statuettes of naked ladies.